Comic Book Coolness Quotient Quiz



You know who's even lamer?
Batman's wannabe cousin, Bat-man.
Yes, those are upside down bats on his head.
Yes, I'm in a really cheesy mood today.

 When I asked my friends (in the middle of an unrelated conversation for no apparent reason - it's what I do) if Batman or Superman was cooler, the response was unanimous: Batman, of course.

I must say, I have to agree with them.

Why do I always find Batman cooler than Superman? Is it his style, his dark mysterious nature… his car? I always look at Batman as the cool one and Superman as the slightly irritating Boy Scout, but maybe that's just being unfair.

If I look at their qualities on paper and compare them as if they were real people, it looks totally different. Hmmm, who would I like to be friends with? The brooding vigilante who spends his nights beating people up and can never seem to communicate his true feelings to others due to his childhood trauma? Or the mild-mannered and far more socially capable young man from the happy loving family? Seems like a pretty easy choice.

Then again, Supes does have that self-righteous streak in him that can get really annoying – and Bats does have a softer side deep down, or else he wouldn't ever let anyone partner up with him, much less a kid – plus, he still has that car. That's really sad, though, if I can let a fancy piece of metal influence my judgment of the worth of a person…

Ehh, who am I trying to kid? Batman's cooler.

Batman and Superman are (c) DC Comics.

My parody scribble is (c) 2012 A. M. Perkins

It's Inappropriate for the Chronologically-Challenged

I once recommended a movie to someone who then asked me if it was appropriate for children. I tried to explain that, while it didn't have graphic sex, violence, or language, it still wasn't child-friendly due to its thematic content. What annoyed me was when I realized every word or phrase I could use to describe that type of material made it sound like a very different kind of "not for children" movie.

Adult? Check.

Mature? Double-check.

For Adults Only? Check, check, check.

What I find even more interesting is that, while the connotation of the word "Mature" in cinema is gratuitous graphic sex, "Mature" in video games often connotes gratuitous graphic violence. I'm not really sure how that happened, since, personally, the people I think of as being truly mature don't generally buy that kind of entertainment.

And I still need a way to describe that movie.

Graphic is (c) 2012 A. M. Perkins.  All rights reserved.

Your Vapidity Aggrieves My Erudite Sensibilities

I like learning new vocabulary words. Always have, always will. I acquired a new one the other day: "Brobdingnagian[1]." I heard it on a cartoon, of all places, and had to look it up.

I like the precision of a wide vocabulary, of finding the word that is the best fit for the abstract ideas rolling around your head.

Problems arise, however, when people don't understand the words I'm using. Almost defeats the purpose of trying to be a better communicator, you know?

The funny part?  When I use an unknown word or refer to an unusual concept…and the person I'm talking to nods and goes along with it even though it's obvious they haven't a clue what I'm talking about.

Why not just ask? From my perspective, there really is no shame at all in being ignorant of something. Every single solitary person in the world is ignorant of tons of things – facts they've never been exposed to or things they knew once upon a time that have been forgotten through disuse.

Refusal to correct ignorance when given the opportunity, however, is my definition of stupid. Simply saying, "I'm sorry, that's new to me. What does it mean?" shows a willingness to learn that I respect. Pretending to know something you don't so you won't have to admit that you, like everyone else in the world, doesn't know everything? …stupid.

It's the intellectucal equivalent of tripping awkwardly in a public place - if you laugh at yourself and say, "Whoa, should've watched where I was going," then no one cares.  If you try to pretend like nothing happened and that you're still the coolest thing on two legs, everyone else laughs.

For my part, immature as it sounds, I usually only have one reaction to the bewildered nodding of the willfully ignorant.

I try to stump them again.

Picture is (c) 2012 A. M. Perkins. All rights reserved.

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[1] "Brobdingnagian," for those who, like me, were unaware of this word, means of enormous size; tremendously huge. It comes from Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels, named for the country Gulliver visits where everyone is a giant compared to him. This country is the antithesis of Lilliput, from which we derive, of course, the much more common "Lilliputian."

Think First or Ask Stupid Questions Later

Everyone knows that sometimes people don't really think before they speak. I could be mean and say I'm beginning to suspect that they'd still say the same thing no matter how much thinking they did beforehand, but for now I'm still optimistic enough to give them the benefit of the doubt and say they're just not taking the vital moment to pause and think.

Case in Point: My grandfather on my dad's side was a twin. When sharing this family fact with someone, my dad says, "My father had a twin sister."

The person's response: "Oh, were they identical?"

Insert pause while my father decides on the type of response this question warrants, from snide to straight-faced, and settles on slightly yet sweetly sarcastic, softened with a smile.

"Well, I can think of a couple of differences."

Picture is (c)2012 A. M. Perkins.