Even More Random Advice

I saw something yesterday that led me to contemplate these words of wisdom:

Men with comb-overs should be extra careful on extra windy days.

Random Advice

Here's something I thought would be self-evident but apparently isn't.

When you're on a crowded silent bus and decide to make a phone call, I wouldn't advise using "BOO!" as your greeting of choice.

Just FYI.

I Don't Think that Means What You Think It Means

Just a quick observation:

While driving home last night, I noticed the advertising on the old pickup truck in front of me.  Created by aligning reflective stickers usually reserved for mailbox posts, it was obviously for a business that delivered firewood.  It was their slogan, however, that drew my eye:

Go Green.  Use Wood for "Heat"

I don't know what I loved more: the complete misunderstanding of what "going green" means, or the hilariously unnecessary quotes around "Heat."

Either way, I do know I laughed like an idiot for a good 30 seconds.

A Moment of Surreality

Do you see this pic?

This is what I imagine I look like during life's "huh" moments.

You know, those moments when everything pauses and you step outside yourself, take an objective look at what's happening, and go, "Dude, that is really weird."

I had one of those moments recently.  It happened during a conversation initiated by a complete stranger.  I had already had a weird day, but this particular interaction was the icing on the cake.  Halfway through our chat, this thought goes through my head:

"Huh.  I'm standing here getting lectured on my business sense by a six-foot-six burly, stubbly middle-aged man wearing a long curly wig, 6-inch spike heels, a gothic lolita tutu, and fishnets.  I can honestly say I didn't expect that when I woke up this morning."

Now if the tutu had been classic lolita, that would have been another story.

Drawing and graphic are (c)2012 A. M. Perkins.  All rights reserved.

Ninjas! In a Movie Theater!



 IGN.com reported that a movie theater in London has hired Ninjas to stop people talking and texting in movies.

Seriously.

Dressed in all black and hiding in the shadows, these Movie Ninjas strike down offenders with a quick flick of a katana.

Or perhaps just a stern talking-to.

Either way, this is quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever heard.

"Yeah, dude, I can talk.  I'm at the movies right now, but it's kinda lame--"

SHURIKEN!

Drawing and graphic are (c)2012 A. M. Perkins.  All rights reserved.

Life's Little Absurdities

Photo is (c)2012 A. M. Perkins.  All rights reserved.

Just a random picture of something random...posted randomly.

At the office where I work, I am in charge of ordering supplies.  When a recent order came in, one large box contained only a single roll of bubble wrap...

...protected by bubble wrap.

While the environmentalist in me freaked out, the irony lover in me thought it was hilarious.

Please Touch that Dial

I am the death of TV shows.

If I regularly watch a show, it will be canceled.

It's not a question of if, but when.

It could be a show about cops who moonlight as naval lawyers who like to go dancing with the stars on the Jersey shore after proving they've got talent, and it would still get the axe the instant I start watching.

Is it because my taste in entertainment is 180 degrees off of what everyone else seems to like?  Or perhaps I have a bizarre X-Men-like ability to affect TV ratings with the power of my eyes?  For some reason I'm guessing the former, but I still wonder what my mutant name might be ("Cancellation Chick"?  "Neilsonetta"?  "Something a lot Cooler than the Lame Things I'm Coming Up with Right Now"?).

I may have stumbled upon an unexpected source of income, however - if you have a TV show on the air, and you want to pay me not to watch your show, it would probably be in your best interests.

If you decide to just take your chances, be warned:  I have my Remote Control of Doom...and I'm not afraid to use it.

Drawing and graphic are (c)2012 A. M. Perkins.  All rights reserved.  X-Men is owned by Marvel (marvel.com)